I had to respond:
- They have nothing to say.
- They have something to say but they reckon you’re not worthy of their response (they only came here accidently after all. Now maybe if it was The Huffington Post.…or Gawker…)
- They accessed your blog on their mobile phone and they’ll be damned if they are going to type a comment on a goddamn numerical keypad with THAT tariff…
- Typing a comment is physically difficult. Zillions (OK, thousands) of people have disabilities and find it a lot of effort to type.
- They found your site when Googling for ‘Daddy I’m nude’ and, as my mother says, got a bit of a land.
- They’re shy.
- They are intimidated by your dazzling brilliance.
- They couldn’t be arsed. American Idol is on in five minutes.
- The fire alarm went off. It can’t always be the evil twin playing with your mind, right?
- They just enjoy reading your thoughts. You put it out there of your own volition; no one owes you nuthin’.