In which Ms Collings, a vinyl trader, helpfully defines the various kinds of “Record Wankers” she has dealt with over the year. (I must admit I identified a little too closely for comfort with more than one of these…


People who still buy vinyl records are a small but hardy breed of folks.  The male variety, far outweigh the female, but there is the odd lady LP lover lurking about.

It is a profession that has kept me in sunglasses and Jamesons for nearly twenty years and a job I still adore, but as with every job they come with a procession of aresholes, or as I like to call them in my particular career; ‘RECORD WANKERS’!

So in the tradition of Top of the Pop’s, I shall light my big fat cigar, don my flares and summon the spirit of  Tommy Vance, for here pop pickers is my top ten Tit Parade of ‘RECORD WANKERS’:

In at number TEN we have the ADDLED WANKER, the one that has heard a snippet or snatch of a song on the radio and thinks that if they hum a few…

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